Bill o' Bill I have a fee it's called common sense follow me

#BillClinton do you want to not be like that Pope joke at the opposite day by the way amnesty for you if you get a clue tick tock!

Welcome to the White House, where the only thing more divided than Congress is Monica Lewinsky’s thighs—talk about bipartisan separation! Seriously, the only time you’ll see more splits is at a yoga class for contortionists.

You know, Monica and a vending machine have a lot in common: they both say, “Insert Bill here.” The difference? The vending machine might actually give you something worth keeping—like a bag of chips, instead of a congressional hearing.

Monica started on her knees—and look where that got her! It’s the only time in American history someone got promoted for not standing up for themselves. Sometimes you gotta kneel before you can stand tall—just ask Congress, they’ve been bowing to lobbyists for decades.

Speaking of Bill Clinton, he was the only president to get “in the black”—which sounds great, right? Except here’s the twist: in government accounting, the red is the black, the black is the red, and the only thing balanced is the checkbook… on the back of a napkin from Hooters. So basically, he’s the only one who didn’t do his job… ironically, he was too busy doing interns.

The White House: where politics, scandals, and punchlines come together like a late-night comedy special that nobody asked for! The only place where “executive privilege” means not having to explain the stains on your blue dress.

Let’s be honest, the Oval Office has seen more action than a Vegas slot machine, and with about the same odds of coming out clean. At this point, the White House should come with a warning label: “May contain traces of nuts, scandals, and broken campaign promises.”

And Congress? They’re like a dysfunctional family reunion: everyone’s yelling, nobody’s listening, and Uncle Joe is asleep in the corner. The only thing they can agree on is to disagree, and even then, they need a filibuster to make it official.

Meanwhile, the Secret Service is less “Men in Black” and more “Men in Therapy.” Their main job? Keeping the president’s secrets secret, and the interns out of the West Wing.

In summary: The White House—where the carpets are red, the lies are white, and the scandals are blue. God bless America, and pass the popcorn!